For this blog post, I’ve decided to break it down into different parts from all of the different questions you guys had asked me this week! This is actually my first blog post about motherhood, which I am kind of shocked since I documented my pregnancy so well. To be honest, I have zero time and I understand I share a lot of Vivien through IG but don’t always go into too many details since everyone always has an opinion and I don’t have everything perfect with her or down to a science! With me sharing this, just remember that - hopefully this helps you feel more comfortable knowing that you are doing the best that you can and that you’re not alone in your daily struggles!

Many of the questions were around feeding and sleep - obviously the two biggest things new parents probably think or stress about the most- plus there is so much information on the internet about these two topics and the “right” way to do it which for me, can overwhelm and stress me out even more if my baby isn’t doing what everyone says! Eventually, I learned that I needed to just go with what works best for us, tuning into and understanding Vivien’s cues (which took time!!), and will only google here and there (desperate times!) or ask friends for tips or suggestions. 

We really have to understand that all babies are completely different and what works for one baby doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for another baby. Just do what works for you, the baby, and your partner - make sure you are on the same page! Which I know is super annoying to hear but it is true! Once we started to do that I felt more at ease, especially around feeding, less stressed, less resentful, and all around happier! 

For the first part of this blog post I wanted to share all about feeding. I think it will be easier to write out the questions that I received and leave my answer below instead of making it into one huge blog post. Then, you can just skip to what you want to read or what relates to you the most. I am hoping that this will help anyone that is a few months behind me or even currently pregnant and feeling slightly overwhelmed with what is to come. I had no idea what to expect before having Vivien and had set all of these (now looking back) unrealistic goals revolving around how I would feed her and within the first week or so of her being born all of it was completely thrown out the window! For me, feeding Vivien was the most stressful mainly because so many people have opinions on how it should be done instead of focusing on the mental health of the new mom and how it is affecting the baby! 

So, first I am going to share all about our feeding schedule. How we started, how breastfeeding was for me personally, when we made the switch from breastfeeding, to exclusively pumping, then to finally, exclusively giving her formula, how much she eats in a day, when we will introduce solids and so forth! I feel like each one of these topics could have their own dedicated blog post, but I am going to do my best to fit it all here together. 

Before I dive into the questions I wanted to share a little background information about how I started to feed Vivien to where I am today! 

Before Vivien was born, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed and my goal was to make it 6 months of exclusively breastfeeding. I truly had no idea what to expect and really never heard of the struggles that women have with it - breastmilk supply, how it can affect your mental health, the physical and emotional toll, how difficult it would be, what cluster feeding was, and how you are the only one who would be able to feed your baby aka ZERO breaks. You only see the beautiful photos on the internet or instagram or how it is the absolute best option for your baby and for some people it does come so easy and natural! The day that Vivien was born and the first three days that we spent in the hospital before heading home, I breastfeed. It was SO easy for me, she latched right away, I was able to give her enough of what she needed, it wasn’t painful, and I wasn’t feeding her around the clock. I truly thought it was going to be a walk in the park. 

When we headed home, that first week was a different story, mainly because I had no idea what I was doing and didn’t realize how challenging it would be. I was having trouble with my supply, she was cluster feeding, feeding at all hours of the night (every hour), I felt very depressed, isolated, and I never knew how much she was getting or how much she needed - plus she was constantly crying. I don’t think my supply came in fully until about 3 weeks, but still never enough to pump and save enough for the future. That completely stressed me out - I didn’t know that was actually an issue (for some people at least). I didn’t think anyone really talked about this or they would always tell me “it gets better and easier".” In a way, I hated when people would tell me that, because for some moms it truly doesn’t! To start, I could barely pump any milk and definitely didn’t enough to store in the freezer! I remember being so against giving her formula especially early on but during those first two weeks we supplemented a few feedings with formula because she was constantly hungry and I feared that she would lose too much weight. For some reason, I was so upset about this and felt extremely guilty, but I knew it was the best thing we could do for her. Todd ran out to the store to get formula - we had no idea which one to buy, which was the best and in hindsight I wish that I had done a little research previously and kept some at home before she was born incase something like this happened.

During that time, I would breastfeed her and then we would give her about 1-2oz of formula. We did that about 3-4x a week after one or two feedings, if needed. Once my supply started to increase and the doctor said that Vivien was on track, I stopped supplementing with formula and exclusively breastfeed her for the next 3 months, then switched to exclusively pumping and giving her breastmilk through a bottle. I did this as I started to wean myself off of pumping, which took about 3 weeks or so and during that time I slowly started to add in bottles of formula either mixed with my breastmilk or one or the other.  

At three months I made the decision to stop breastfeeding Vivien and pump! The day that I decided to do this (which I had to come to the decision myself, even though so many others said I should just make the switch since I was struggling) I felt so much happier and free in a sense. I never truly felt like myself while I was breastfeeding, maybe because it was difficult or that I was still very much recovering from pushing out a baby! However, I feel so lucky and grateful that I was able to do it as long as I could but despite my best attempt to do everything right- my supply was never amazing and I was struggling mentally. Luckily, she took to bottles extremely well (maybe because we started from the first week she was born with one a day?!) and when I made the switch, Todd or other family members were able to feed her, which really helped me and allowed them to bond with her too! People always say that you share a special bond with your baby when you breastfeed and while I think that is partially true, once we started to give her bottles of my milk I actually felt closer to her and I think that was partially from me just being in a better place mentally and more at ease with how we were choosing to feed her. Also, she takes to the formula well and I really do think her fussiness, sleep habits, and overall mood drastically changed once we made the switch. Mine too ;)

Now, I want to answer the questions to help hopefully fill in the gaps and shed light on the rest of my feeding journey with Vivien thus far: My hope is that this post makes you feel comfortable with whatever way you are feeding your baby and if you are struggling with either way know that you aren’t alone and there isn’t any reason to feel guilty!

1. Are you still pumping or made the switch to formula? Was it an adjustment for baby?

I am currently not pumping anymore and we have made the switch to feeding her formula. I stopped pumping around 4 months and slowly started to wean myself off of pumping (answer below in a separate question on how I did that!). To be honest, I do not think it was a big adjustment for her. I really do believe that babies can sense our emotions and I was completely stressed out and overwhelmed with breastfeeding. I think she felt it. From the start, during the first week, she had received a bottle and usually Todd would give her the bottle - maybe that helped her when we completely switched to bottles and formula or maybe we were just lucky that she was able to switch between the two with no issue. I will say we had trouble with finding a formula that did work for her. We had tried a few organic ones and she actually would vomit from them - it was really scary when it happened a few times and of course I panicked! We have since then, found one that she does well on and it was recommended by our pediatrician. Once we made a switch to the formula that we currently use, her personality changed overnight - she was much happier and way less fussy! My advice, is to not buy hundreds of dollars worth of formula to start (like we did). First, I would sample a few and see how well your baby does. However, we did this with the advice and care from her doctor. Technically you aren’t supposed to switch back and forth between formulas as that can upset your babies stomach. We gave the formula that we currently use about 2 weeks before we started to realize that this is the one we would be using and that she does well with it! If she didn’t do well on that formula after the two weeks we would have tried another one and test it out for another week or so!

2. What is (was) your pumping schedule?

Pumping was demanding! However, I did love that others were able to give her bottles and it did allow me to take breaks, feel like myself again, and have a little more freedom during the day or evening! Once I made the switch to solely pumping, this was when I was approved to workout again - being able to have a family member watch + feed her while I could workout without having to rush back home to feed her, helped me mentally even if it was only once a week! It felt good to not have to plan everything around when I would need to breastfeed which was difficult since she would often cluster feed especially during growth spurts. I have shared on stories my pumping schedule and how I started to wean but I will give you a rundown here too. 

Mainly, to keep my supply up I pumped every single time I would feed Vivien a bottle of my breastmilk. This seems easy, but I found it a little challenging during days that I wasn’t able to put her down, she wouldn’t nap, or if we were out and I wasn’t able to pump. However, on a very good day, I would pump when I first woke up (before feeding her for her first morning feed- which was anywhere from 4 AM to 5 AM), then continue to pump every three hours from that, which would give me about 5x a day. Late in the evenings after Vivien went to bed, I would pump once more before bed as well as a middle of the night pump (between 2 to 3 AM). At this time, she was still waking in the middle of the night for a feeding, so I would pump after that! It did end up taking more time out of the day to do this as I would feed Vivien breastmilk from the bottle and then would pump. Pumping would take me about 30 minutes total and I would get anywhere from 4oz to 8oz depending on the time. My middle of the night pump I would produce the most (3 AM) and in the afternoon around 3 PM I would produce the least! I made sure to never miss that middle of the night pumping session because I knew it would give me the most amount of milk at the time. 

Each day,  I was mainly pumping enough to feed her for that day with a few extra bottles that would go into the next day. At the start it wouldn’t matter if I missed one or two sessions of pumping because I seemed to produce enough where I was always a little ahead. At times, I was able to freeze my breastmilk, but never was able to build a huge stash! However, the more you pump the better your supply will be or at least you will be able to keep with the demand (the supply up!). The more I skipped a pumping session, my supply would go down. This came true when she didn’t need the middle of the night feedings and I would often chose sleep over pumping! 

This worked well for me for about a month and during that time I slowly started to wean myself from pumping. While I was weaning I started to use the stash in the freezer. I was eating a tremendous amount of food and drinking tons of water to help with my supply and recognized that the less I ate or the more stressed I was, my supply would decrease that day or week! After a month had passed, I began to wean myself off of pumping. More below!

3. How did you wean yourself from pumping and how long did it take?

I believe it took about 3 weeks to wean myself from pumping. It hurt like crazy and even after I completely stopped pumping and we were solely on formula, my boobs would still leak but they returned back to normal look wise about a week after I completely stopped!

There is tons of information online as to how to wean yourself from pumping and I followed those guidelines somewhat but again, did what seemed to work for myself! I wouldn’t suggest quitting cold turkey as that can be super painful and can lead to infection. What I did that worked really great for me was I would always pump first thing in the morning, before bed, middle of the night pump, and I would skip the afternoon pump. I did this for a few days (about 4) and then I would drop another pumping session. This depended on how my day went and if I was working out (pumped before that or would be very painful) and usually was the one after the morning pumping session. Again, I did this for another 4 days or so. I would also decrease the number of minutes that I was pumping. For example, if each pumping session was 10 minutes on each side, every day or every two days I would decrease each time by about 1-2 minutes. After about two weeks, she wasn’t having a bottle in the middle of the night so I stopped pumping. I knew that I could “suffer” through the pain my boobs were feeling overnight vs during the day especially if I was out or working out. They leaked like crazy if I wasn’t pumping so I would rather that happen in the middle of the night vs. during the day. Once, I quit the middle of the night feed I would would only pump once in the morning and then once before bed. During the day it was a bit painful and I would leak, but this is what I needed to do! Then, for the last week or so I would either pump once in the AM or once in the evening (not both) which I did for about another 4 days, then eventually I stopped pumping all together.

In general, if you are pumping 6x a day continue to drop one pumping session of choice for a few days and then continue to drop more after a few days as your body continues to adjust and regulate! Once I was finished with pumping, and we did not have any breastmilk left from our freezer stash we started to solely give her formula which was around 4 months!

4. How many ounces of formula does she get?

This one will be different for every single baby! After a little trial and error we found that the magic number for her currently at 5 months is:
6 oz for her first morning feed
5 oz for her 3 day feedings
6 oz for her nighttime feeding (last one)

At 4 months we gave her 6 oz for one of the day feedings and I noticed that she was spitting up a great deal and seemed to be a bit more fussy. I was assuming it was the feeding and maybe her stomach was hurting. Once we dropped back to the list above she was back to normal! I also checked in with our doctor as to how much she should be eating! When she was 1-2.5 months and on breastmilk I am not entirely sure how many ounces she was getting but she was cluster feeding constantly! At 3 months and now was when we started to play around with the ounces to see how much she needed starting with 4 ounces and then increasing during growth spurts or when she didn’t need a middle of the night feeding! We stopped feeding her in the middle of the night when she was around 3 months. However, when she was experiencing a growth spurt, her sleep regression, and extremely fussy/crying we would feed her every so often!!

When we start to give her solids that number above will of course change!

5. When is her last feeding and her first feeding:

This varies! I don’t feel that we actually have gotten her on a feeding schedule until just this past month. A lot goes out the window during the 4th month sleep regression and for us that lasted over 3 weeks!! I didn’t feel that we could actually sleep train her until that had passed. Once she turned 5 months we started to wean her away from the 5 AM wake up and feeding. She would constantly start to wake around 5 AM for a few weeks and we couldn’t really get her back to sleep and we finally “trained” her to have her first bottle starting after 6 AM. Still, to this day, she will wake anywhere from 5-530 on her own and we go back and forth in her room at certain and longer intervals until it is 6 AM. Sometimes she will go back to sleep after going in there once to check on her until 6:45 or other times she doesn’t and we will feed her at 6 or 6:15! I am honestly happy with that, of course it would be amazing if she slept till 7 but this works for us now! I know that eventually she will sleep later and I feel that we have come a far way from her waking up every single hour and feeding. There are also tons of ways to train your baby (sleep training) and this is what we did to skip the 5 AM feedings - it took about 5-7 days but I know that it won’t always be perfect! It is something that you just have to commit to and allow them to cry it out for a bit if you can, then they will learn!

6. What is her feeding schedule?

I didn’t feel that we actually had her on somewhat of a predictable schedule until she turned 4.5-5 months. On a perfect day she would wake around 6 or later and we would feed her:

First feeding between 6 AM - 6:45 AM
Nap: (roughly) between 8-9 AM
Second feeding between 9-10 AM
Nap: (roughly) between 10:45-12PM
Third feeding between 12-1 PM
Nap: (roughly) between 1:45/2 to 3 PM (this is the hardest one for us!)
Fourth feeding between 3 PM - 350 PM
Last feeding (bedtime feeding) between 6 PM - 6:30 PM

This is all dependent upon when she wakes in the morning and how her naps go during the day. I make sure that I feed her in between the hours listed above and never let her nap longer than 2 hours between each feeding. I will talk about her sleep in another post, but if she were to sleep through when she was supposed to be technically eating I will let her but make sure she doesn’t sleep later than the feeding windows above! She is always in bed by 645 PM! Many of you had messaged me saying that their baby goes to bed around 8-9PM and I think it greatly depends on the age of the baby, how they are eating, and their schedule during the day! I know that I can’t keep Vivien up that late or she is extremely fussy and hard to put down. From the day she came home I always gave her a bath between 5 PM and 545 PM then would feed her post bath and put her down! Maybe that helped us with this bedtime but I am not sure since all babies are different! I’ve asked all of my friends with babies their schedule and every single one is totally different! I do know that the later I put Vivien to bed, the earlier she will wake in the morning! I think once you find that magic sweet spot of when to put them to bed, you will have a better idea of when they will wake in the morning! I think it takes time and there is not reason to stress or try and force a schedule as soon as you bring the baby home! I know I did, but soon realized that it would eventually happen even if it took a while. Plus, they will always be going through something; a growth spurt, teething, sleep regression, rolling etc! Side note: she also does not nap after the fourth feeding, which is probably why she starts to get tried around 530/6 PM and even if the feeding before that was at 4 PM! I think she knows this and it works well for her since we always started it this way.

7. Have you started to feed her solids?

Not technically! Our doctor gave us permission to feed her solids starting at 4 months, but personally I felt that was a little too young. She wasn’t really interested in it, wasn’t able to sit up on her own, and I didn’t see the point since it wasn’t going to provide her actual substance! I do know friends who have started at 4 months and their babies do so well, so again whatever works!

Just this past week we gave her avocado and banana - totally mashed up and gave it to her with my finger. She hated it! Wasn’t interested at all - so I am going to wait until she is 6 months which is only a few weeks away! Regarding solids; I will start with the most basic and easily digestible ones first and go from there! As of now I do not have a schedule or a compete idea as to how I will introduce them to her, but will share when I do!

There were more questions that were regarding sleeping and general schedules or typical days that I will share soon! I feel that I have the feeding schedule finally in a routine and the sleep we are still working on! Hopefully this blog post helps you in some way! I think it is important to do what feels the best for you and your baby once you do that you and everyone around you will feel happier and more at ease! For us, it took almost 5 months to get a feeding routine somewhat down and I know that when she starts teething and goes through another sleep regression it may change again! You have to be flexible, go with the flow, and often times just let go of wanting to control every aspect of your baby - it won’t happen!

Thank you for reading x