Vivien Breen's Birth Story

September 15, 2019 by Blair Fynn

On September 7, 2019 at 2:14 PM our little 6 pound 11 oz peanut, Vivien Breen Norley arrived!

As I talked about before, I really thought she was going to arrive early and believed I had all these signs that my body was telling me she would. I was clearly wrong as I was exactly 41 weeks pregnant when she was born - a full week past my due date.

This is a bit of a long story because we went through a great deal the week before to help bring her into this world! The week before really tested us - it was hard. As everyone says, it was all worth the wait and all the physical pain and mental exhaustion is a distant memory the minute you are able to hold your baby.

so here goes…

My last three doctor’s appointment my cervix was completely closed. I had mentioned this before in my 40 week update as well as how devastated I was each time leaving the OBGYN office - mainly because I wasn’t sure if my cervix would open or what the reality of that meant when it would be past my due date. I was anxious, feeling frustrated, scared, and a bit depressed not understanding why my body wasn’t “working” properly and why it didn’t seem to want to go into labor spontaneously. During my last appointment, which was on a Thursday, the doctor had scheduled me for a Cervical Ripening apt. on the following Monday. What this means, is that my cervix needed to be soften to help bring on the onset of labor and it can be done through medication or mechanically- depending upon what the doctor feels is the most beneficial and healthiest for you. You can not be induced until this happens. It is the step before induction if you are not dilating. However, you truly don’t know how well it will work for you as it is very different for everyone. It could take anywhere from 24-36 hours or in my case a FULL week….

The doctor had schedule me to head into the hospital late Monday evening to begin the cervical ripening. Todd and I thought that I would be staying overnight and then by the following day or Wednesday the latest our girl would be born. Foolishly we brought all of our bags into the hospital and were sent home about 2 hours later. For this exam, the baby and I were monitored on a screen - watching her heart rate and my contractions for about 2 hours. During that time I was given medication orally and after the 2 hours we were sent home and told to come back the following morning to continue the process. We were still a bit hopeful but super frustrated that we had to pack all our stuff back home and essentially “wait it out.” Well, I woke up on Tuesday still no signs of labor and we headed back to the hospital for out 7:30 AM apt. We checked in, waited a few hours, and then continued the medication and the monitoring for another 2 hours. My cervix was at about a 1 cm dilated but it wasn’t enough to be induced - so we had to come back 4 hours later for the same routine. When we went back in the afternoon, my contractions were too close together and too strong to receive more medication and I thought that my cervix would start to open more and I would eventually go into labor! The doctor told me to come back 4 hours later that same day to monitor myself, the baby, and the contractions and receive another dosage. So we did just that.

Tuesday was mentally exhausting not only on myself but on Todd as well. We were stuck in a small room with just one bed and a monitor for hours - this continued on until later Thursday night. We went back and forth to the hospital multiple times each day and received the same news each time. We felt pretty hopeless and honestly tired of the medication not working for me. There weren’t many other options either. My cervix wasn’t ready for any mechanical means and truthfully I wasn’t interested in doing them as it seemed pretty uncomfortable and painful.

We went home late Thursday night after eating dinner and around 2 AM I noticed that I was bleeding a great deal. Obviously I freaked OUT, started to shake, and become extremely nervous. I called the OBGYN and they had us head into the hospital immediately. We rushed there, checked in, and I was brought to the same room to be monitored and checked out. Luckily, we could hear the baby’s heart and I could feel her move - there was nothing wrong with her - thank god.

We ended up waiting in that room - tied to the bed - from about 3 AM to 1030 AM. The hours DRAGGED! The hospital was extremely busy with women giving birth and the doctor was so tied up that we had to just sit and wait until she was available and to figure out the next steps. When we finally saw her she had explained that since I was bleeding many of the options to help open the cervix were completely out and just not safe. However, she was able to give me a medication that is inserted in you called Cervidil. We decided to go along with that and I was truly hoping for the best. They also weren’t sending me home anymore because I was approaching 41 weeks and had bleeding. To be honest, I think if that wasn’t the case we would have been sent back home and told to come later on during the weekend because of how busy the labor unit was.

We were finally able to leave the triage room and sent into a labor room! This was a huge step and a big deal because it meant that one way or another this baby was going to be born at some point over the weekend. The room was much bigger and way more comfortable for the both us to be in. There, I was given the Cervidil and we had to wait 12 HOURS (yes, 12 HOURS) until it could be removed. I had to sit in the bed the entire time. Mentally that was draining and physically my body had been sitting for almost 24 hours straight and I was getting extremely uncomfortable. Luckily I had Todd with me and we tried to make the best of the situation - but we were losing it!!

Around 1030 PM the Cervidil ended up falling out completely on its own and I only had about another hour left so the doctor decided to not re-insert it. She checked my cervix and I was a little more than 1 cm dilated - still disappointed but it was enough for her to induce me.

The doctor ended up breaking my water as well. It didn’t hurt - but I will spare you with how they did it. After she broke my water my body felt this huge sensation of relief and my stomach deflated a bit. It was one of the strangest feelings!! Once she broke my water she decided to induce me to help bring on labor. Looking back, none of this was obviously in my birth plan and it is amazing how much I changed my mind when it came down to it. I didn’t want any of this to happen - the medication, being induced, etc - but all of that went out the window when it came down to it.

Once I was induced, again I had to stay in the bed and both the baby and I were monitored. Her heart against the rate of my contractions. After about 3 hours around 2 AM the contractions were INTENSE. They came in waves, starting off small then increasing, and then slowing decreasing again. It happened about every 5 or so minutes and when they weren’t happening I wasn’t in any pain. Looking back I laugh at all those times I thought I felt labor contractions at home - when you have them you JUST KNOW. I can’t even begin to describe how painful and intense the contractions were. My entire body was shaking uncontrollably, sweating, I couldn’t stop crying, I couldn’t talk nor move - it was the most pain I have ever felt in my life. I truly couldn’t take the pain as it was all around my abdomen and my low back. Three hours later I received the epidural and within 20 minutes the pain was gone. Todd had told me he had never seen anyone in that much pain for 3 plus hours and then within 20 minutes have it disappear. Say what you want about the epidural, but it truly helped calm and relax my body and help open my cervix to deliver this baby.

Around 7 AM the epidural started to wear off and I was now having intense back pain along with contractions. The doctors gave me a stronger dose and the contractions went away but the back pain grew in intensity. Turns out she had flipped and was facing sunny side up. Her skull bone was pressing against my back - back labor is intense and I was hoping that she would flip as it isn’t ideal to give birth this way - especially for the safety of the baby. Around this time she also checked my cervix and I had dilated all the way to 7 cm - just overnight - which was amazing!!! I thought that within the hour I would give birth and we would finally meet our little girl.

Just our luck, I was checked again three hours later and had no improvement at all. My doctor had explained to me that if my cervix did not continue to progress then a C-Section would take place. I truly wanted to have a vaginal birth and started to pray that my body would become ready. The nurses did everything they could to help - they flipped my on my side, placed a yoga ball that was shaped like a peanut in between my legs and I laid there for another 2 hours. At this point - I was running a very high fever, my blood pressure was rising and I hadn’t eaten anything since the day before at 5 PM - almost 24 hours. (You aren’t allowed to eat once you receive the epidural).

Right before my doctor had left to deliver another baby, I asked how will I know when I am in true labor. She told me two things to look out for and I swear 10 minutes after her leaving the room both of those happened - the contractions were beginning to intensity and I had severe pain in my lower half that would NOT go away with the amount of medication I had received. I kept whispering to Todd that I thought I was in labor and wasn’t sure what to do - I was also doubting myself because we had already been there a week and by this point so tired of it all! I told the nurses (who were AMAZING by the way - I couldn’t have done it without them) - that I thought I was in labor and to get the doctor to check. They told me to rest and that the doctor couldn’t come yet because she was delivering a baby. Internally I was freaking out a bit because this new pain was something I wasn’t feeling before and I just KNEW that this was happening. I was legit thinking she would just fall right out - her body was continue to move down.

2 plus hours the doctor came back to check on me and I was still experiencing the same intense pain - she checked and sure enough I had dilated to 10 cm and we were ready to go! To be honest, I had never been more excited to give birth in my life haha - at this point I wasn’t nervous, anxious, or scared. I was about to give birth vaginally but felt calm. I was ready. However, during birth my temperature was still rising and my high blood pressure was stressing out the baby. I tried to stay as calm as I could, but it was intense. I felt sick to my stomach and at times I really didn’t think I could do it. I was tired, hungry, had no energy, felt so weak, and it was the most unreal experience I’ve ever been through. I also had tearing, which was so painful. I knew that I had to keep going and the more focused I stay the faster we would meet her.

Our first time meeting- minutes of giving birth.

This was around 1:30 PM and at 2:14 after 45 minutes of pushing she was here. When she was born she had meconium in her body and wasn’t crying as she should so the doctor took her immediately to clear our her airways etc. Then, we were finally able to hold her!!

Honestly, looking back it is hard to remember all these moments - it was pure bliss and I was on a cloud. It is a feeling you can’t put into words. I couldn’t believe that she was finally here and we were holding her! It was surreal to know that she was in my body for 41 weeks and now here - in our hands. We were able to be with her for about 45 minutes and then she had to go to the NCIU because of my high fever. Unfortunately the poor little thing had to receive an IV as well as antibiotics incase she received an infection from my fever. Todd went with her and she did great! She had to stay there for about 2 hours and would have to continue the medication for 48 hours - the entire time we would be there. I felt so guilty and bad that she had to receive antibiotics and have a little IV placed in her arm. It definitely made her uncomfortable but I knew that this was the best and a no brainer decision. She needed this or we could risk that the fact that she would become very sick post hospital.

Once she was finally back in our arms, we moved to a new floor where we would stay for the next two days. I was able to breastfeed her immediately and it felt so surreal having her with us. She was doing better and I felt pretty good as well. Mentally I was energetic and extremely happy but physically I was in a lot of pain - my back, I was bleeding like crazy, and still receiving a few contractions (which is normal), it hurt to walk around, sit straight up, was given high blood pressure medication, and my body felt like it had ran 5 marathons in a row.

Todd and I were able to spend time with her before our parents, my sister in law, and brother came for a visit. We couldn’t stop staring at her and felt this incredible bond amongst the three of us. Pure love and I felt even closer to Todd. It was so nice having our families there with us to celebrate the birth of Vivien and it didn’t even feel real to me! It was the best moment of my life. I couldn’t believe that I did this.

Once our families left, we had ordered pizza since it was our first meal in over 24 hours. I continued to feed her throughout the night and she was continuously monitored as well. Once our time was over at the hospital, we were finally able to head home - just the three of us! I think I was the most nervous then, about having her in the car and driving on the highway!!

Heading home the three of us on Sept. 9th!

Once we made it home - it has been a whirlwind ever since. Our hospital bags are still packed and the apartment feels crazy - but in the best way possible.

Since we have been home she already has had two doctors visits. For her first one she had lost 1 oz, which is totally normal and we went back on Friday and she gained it all back and then some! I was getting nervous and extremely stressed out the first week because my milk was not coming in and I was afraid that she wasn’t getting enough. It took about a solid week for it to become noticeable and to the point that I could pump. You have no idea how happy that made me.

As for me, I am still recovering and feeling all sorts of pain. The more that I try to do the worse that I feel - even slow walks around the neighborhood are hard right now but I know in a few weeks I will get better. Postpartum recovery is something that I am getting used to. No one warns you or prepares you for after baby and I will say it is a very humbling experience as to what my body is going through right now. I am drinking TONS of water and eating well to continue to heal my body and make sure I am properly nourished so I can continue to feed Vivien. As of right now we are cluster feeding often times during the day and then usually 2-3x at night. It is pretty much on demand, but I do love spending that time with her. Breastfeeding is no joke - there are times this week that I have been so overwhelmed and crying and then other times it comes so naturally. It is definitely a learning process. Ill share more later!

Anyways…that is my birth story in a nutshell! We are extremely grateful to have a healthy beautiful baby and can’t believe the love that she is already receiving from everyone! She's perfect!

I can’t wait to continue to share more with you as I start this new chapter!

Heading into the 40th week...still pregnant!

August 29, 2019 by Blair Fynn

To be honest, I wasn’t planning on sharing another baby update after my last share at 34 weeks as well as the post I had shared about what I was packing in my hospital bag! It’s not that I thought she would come THAT early, but I had this feeling that she was going to arrive a bit earlier especially because of all the symptoms I had been feeling the last two weeks (that started around 37 weeks) - turns out I was completely wrong.

I decided to write this as the weeks progressed because it is something that I can always look back on and mostly I am grateful to share my experiences with you all too. Sometimes I find it comforting when I realize that others are going through the same as me, even though all of our experiences and journeys are different - the feelings, symptoms, and the emotions can somewhat the same and we have this underlying and mutual understanding of what this is all like.

Also, just talking or writing about how I am feeling is therapeutic for me.

I sit here writing this at exactly 39 weeks, but waiting to share until I am just two days shy of 40 weeks. Technically I have exactly one week left as my due date is August 31st - so she could surprise us and still come early or I might even have another week post my due date. I think that the due dates that the doctors give us from the start, set us up for a bit of false hope and cause us to focus way too much on the actual date. Then, if the baby comes earlier or super late - we automatically assume the worst or there is something wrong with us and/or the baby. However, having a certain date in mind and having other friends who have gone a few weeks early did help and allow me to prepare a bit for her - which is a good thing! At the same time, knowing I only have potentially 7 days left - I am getting a bit anxious for her arrival, frustrated, and impatient. I am not necessarily nervous about the actual birthing process - I am aware that it will be challenging, hard, and one of the most difficult things I will go through but I am more anxious about what happens IF she is late. Will I have to get a C-section or will I have to be induced? I am hoping for a vaginal birth, but know that I can’t control every little detail and will have to ultimately go with what is the best and healthiest for both the baby and I.

The longer I wait the more uncomfortable I feel both mentally and physically - yet at the same time it is very comforting to know that she is fully developed and considered full term! I am very lucky.

The end will be worth it and this physical pain is just temporary! That is what I keep saying to myself as I wake up each morning!

I would say that for me personally, the the last 3 weeks have been the most challenging and difficult. Around 37 weeks until 38 - I started to feel extremely sick - nauseas and wasn’t able to keep any food down. I will say that up until then I have been pretty lucky and never got sick once - even in the first trimester! I thought that just maybe she was making her appearance and felt that my body was riding itself of everything - gross I know - but that is what can happen! I could barely get out of bed, eat, and was afraid to leave the house for too long because I knew I would be so sick. I was also having major contractions and thought I had lost my mucus plus. I called the doctor and told them of my symptoms and how I was feeling. I was supposed to call back if things progressed - but everything stayed the same. At this time, I was also nesting like CRAZY. I was reorganizing everything over and over again. Despite feeling so tired - I had bursts of energy at certain times and totally took advantage of that! I was also experiencing very vivid dreams of the birth each night….

I had my 38 week check up and talked to the doctor about everything that was happening and she said it was normal and didn’t make it seem that labor was starting - yet it very well could be and just take a few weeks! It is amazing that we are all different and we can’t base our pregnancies on any other persons. She also checked my cervix and it was completely closed. I left the doctors office, sat in my car, and just cried. I knew it was a combination of being disappointed in having a closed cervix (because I was anxious for her to arrive), feeling physically sick each day and wondering how I will continue for another few weeks, and just realizing once again that I am completely NOT in control of this process. Also, I became SUPER frustrated for having a closed cervix and in hindsight that is nothing to get upset over because it can truly change within a matter of hours and days. At this point, I had been googling everything: my symptoms, signs of labor - you name it! I suggest not doing that :) Unfortunately this affected my entire mood as I headed into the weekend - I wasn’t able to sleep and just felt blah. I felt guilty about this, looking back on it, but I think it is only natural to feel this way! It’s totally normal to feel “over it” at this point and the feelings are valid.

Once the new week started, I planned to focus a great deal of my energy on work and getting ahead! I woke up each morning ready to start the day and it turned out to be one of the best distractions for me, despite everything that I was feeling. I was also accomplishing a great deal of work and was really happy with it which helped elevate my mood. A lot of my friends and others told me or mentioned that I should plan for one thing each day to do - whether it is with a friend or for myself. I decided to continue to keep myself distracted with not only work, but other things that made me feel good - read books, got pedicures, take salt baths, go see a movie with Todd, went on longer slow walks, and even had my haircut or a few blow outs. It sounds so silly to take that time out for yourself, but it really did make me feel pretty good! I realized that these are luxuries and I wouldn’t be able to up and go whenever I wanted to when the baby is here.

During the start of the 38th week I was again, getting contractions again. These were more intense - a few times I wasn’t able to walk through them nor talk and I thought FOR SURE this was IT.

However, they weren’t regular or consistent enough for me to make the call to the doctor and I just didn’t really have that gut feeling….These contractions were on and off for the entire week. Once again I also had zero appetite, was extremely thirsty, and had terrible low back pain. I wasn’t able to workout or go on daily walks which left me disappointed because I looked at that as another way to distract myself but there was no sense in pushing myself or making things worse. The hip and back pain was honestly too much to handle at certain times and made it pretty difficult to sleep. I had never experienced this type of back pain during the entire pregnancy. It truly left me in tears each day, made it extremely difficult to walk, and sleep on my side. I hate sounding dramatic but there were times during the day that I couldn’t even stand up or walk around because it was unbearable….but I continued to keep myself distracted until I saw the doctor again.

Once again, I left the doctors office with a closed cervix but he did say that I was starting to thin out - which can be a positive sign yet mean nothing at all since like I’ve mentioned before everything can change at any point. I was upset but in much better shape than the week before and started to not get my hopes up each day. I think that if this happens to you, don’t become discouraged and allow it to ruin the rest of your day or even week. I’ve had friends that have been dilated 3CM for 2 weeks and then others that weren’t dilated and went into labor the very next day. I know it can be frustrating hearing that news when you are so close towards the end, but you just have to hang in there and let your body run its course.

I think that the biggest symptoms for me the last few weeks have been major low back pain as my body is not used to the extra weight, lack of sleep, little to no appetite, and having a rollercoaster of emotions.

For the back pain, there isn’t too much that I could do towards the end of the pregnancy. Things like getting a massage or seeing a chiropractor would be amazing, but since she is coming any day now - I just don’t have the time or the opportunity to do that. I will say that I had a pre-natal massage in my second trimester and it was AMAZING. If you have the chance to do that - even if it is just one time- I highly recommend treating yourself to one! Things that I have been doing to “help” the pain are long salt baths, heating pad or ice, drinking a a lot of water, walking if I can even if its just for a few minutes to keep blood flowing, and unfortunately taking things like tylenol. I hate taking tylenol and haven’t taken it once during the pregnancy until now because it usually bothers my stomach.

I am also shocked as to how I am just not hungry. For almost a week I went to bed without eating dinner, which made me feel really guilty but I just did NOT want to eat at all. I kind of thought that this was such a myth, but between feeling tired, sick, and emotionally drained I couldn’t nor felt like eating much towards the end of the day - because of this I made sure I ate a variety of foods (protein, fiber, veggies, fruit etc) during the day or at least had big nutritious smoothies first thing in the AM or for lunch and then made sure I had tons of water throughout the day!

Essentially it is a major waiting game the last week or so. People are always telling me to enjoy the last few weeks or days as you never know when it will happen, but at the same time there isn’t too much to do- or I should say when you feel in a lot of physical pain it can be harder to enjoy certain things. BUT - I am still working, burying myself in books, and trying my best to take a few walks each week- which is great and have been really happy with being able to do that. It is also interesting because I haven’t been fearful of whats to come but more emotional because of the lack of sleep and the major physical pain that I am in. Knowing that the pain will pass soon is comforting!

I scheduled my last apt for this upcoming Thursday (today!), which is why I am waiting to share the post until then. At the doctors apt, my cervix was still closed - surprise! The doctor didn’t offer any hope that I would go into labor naturally as of right now and we had to schedule an apt. with the hospital for cervical ripening to help open my cervix, which can take anywhere from 24 to 36 hours. It may or may not work, but of course, hoping for the best!! The apt. is scheduled and I will wait until then.

You are given a round of medicine and then monitored over the next few hours or even sent home. Your cervix is checked again and if there is no improvement more medication is given. As of right now I am not sure how my body will react but I know that it will be a long, tiring, and probably uneasy few days. The doctors told me to be prepared for a long process. If there is no improvement I will have to potentially schedule a C-Section. Obviously there is no RIGHT or wrong way to deliver a baby. Many of my friends have had C-Sections and many have had vaginal births. I think that it really comes down to making sure you and the baby are healthy and which way is the best way for the both of you. I think since I originally never thought it would come down to this process I just have mentally prepared myself for it! Either way, its all about perspective and doing what is the best.

Cervical ripening is essentially prep work for the next stage to then induce me for labor. I can’t be induced unless my cervix is dilated. However, all of this is in the air and I truly have to wait and see how my body does during this process. Personally, I feel uneasy about the situation and the days ahead but knowing that the end results in us having a baby, is truly the best thing! I think it is just nerves kicking in and wondering the possibilities of what will happen as you have zero control over the situation.

I was hoping that I was somewhat dilated as she would have been able to do a membrane sweeping but I wasn’t close to be opening so it wasn’t an option. She mentioned things like acupuncture and even having sex can help bring on labor but personally I don’t feel like running around to an acupuncturist these last few days! It is really hard to know how your body will react until you try certain methods.

I can still feel the baby quite a bit, but I have lost over 5 pounds, lost my appetite, and the pain in my back is becoming unbearable! This obviously wasn’t my original plan and was hoping to go into labor spontaneously - which I guess I still could over the weekend and until the date of the cervical ripening procedure! After leaving the doctors office I had mixed feelings - I cried, was anxious, excited, frustrated but happy that I have Todd on my side through this and happy that soon enough we will have her in our hands.

I decided to share this post with you all in hopes not to frustrate you in thinking that this will be your journey towards the end, but just to hang in there as the days feel longer or seem to be getting harder! It will be so worth it when it is over and I am sure that we will all miss many aspects of being pregnant - I know I will!

Keeping myself busy, trying to eat as best as I can, staying hydrated and just getting outside when I can has been helpful! Anything to distract you and keep your mind off things has been super positive for me! Also, not feeling guilty for taking breaks, naps, or even watching TV in the middle of the day is a GOOD thing.

Despite everything I truly can’t believe that she will be here soon. I think that this time has gone by so fast and I am so excited to see how the next few weeks, months, and beyond play out. It has been one of the most blissful, confusing, and indescribable experiences I have ever been through! I would do it all over again a million times more.

Hospital Bag: What I am bringing!

July 26, 2019 by Blair Fynn

We (well me) are nearing the end and quickly approaching her due date! I can’t believe it, but I am sure the last few weeks will feel like a lifetime! She is due on the 31st of August but I am trying to prepare myself both mentally and in our apartment as if she were to either come a bit early or even late! That brings us to either a few weeks or a solid month left!

Around 34 weeks I started to make a list of what I needed for both myself and the baby at the hospital. I am not too worried about what my husband will take (no offense!!) because he most likely will pack an overnight bag or whatever he would need for a weekend type trip. I am focusing on what I will need for the baby and for myself so I can be as comfortable as I need to be - even if we are there for 1 night or 3 nights. We both tend to overpack but since this is my first time, I would rather be safe than sorry!

34 week update + Baby Registry

July 18, 2019 by Blair Fynn

The last update I shared was over a month ago as I headed into my third trimester! I know I say this every time, but the weeks are flying by- which I am welcoming. There is still so much to do, but the last few weeks have become a bit more challenging and uncomfortable as I continue to grow, the weather gets hotter, and as I experience new symptoms! I’ve been warned that the last few weeks feel like a lifetime, but I think being pregnant in the summer is a little different than the dreaded winter- we have a lot more going on each weekend, the weather is a bit more motivating to get outside or do things with friends, and no matter what- summer flies by, pregnant or not!

Hello Third Trimester!

June 09, 2019 by Blair Fynn

12 weeks left. I am in complete disbelief as to how fast the time is going. Each week seems faster than the last! I feel that there is so much left to do and to be honest I feel anxious about it all. It is a good feeling, stressful and overwhelming to say the least, but something that I absolutely can not wait for.

Week 25 Baby Update!

May 17, 2019 by Blair Fynn

The time is absolutely flying by. I truly can’t believe that in less than 3 weeks I will be heading into my third trimester of pregnancy! Our baby is due August 31st and that day will be here before we know it. I want the time to hurry up so she can be here and we can meet her, but I also don’t want to wish summer away nor this time being pregnant! I truly feel lucky to be pregnant in the first place. I try to remind myself of that each day and take in each moment as it passes because it may never happen again.

She also officially “popped” this week…I honestly felt like I woke up and she was making her appearance. For the longest time I was in the awkward phase of maybe she is pregnant, maybe she put on a little weight, or just a little bloated. It definitely feels good to have more of a pronounced belly even though it is something that I am getting used to (more below.) Still, I do wake up some days where she feels “bigger” and I think (completely making an assumption) that it depends on where she is sitting in my body, her position, and how much she is kicking….as well as how much I have eaten that day or the day before ;)

However, technically your belly doesn’t really “pop” overnight even though it may seem/feel that way - but it’s more your body going through a few changes. As your uterus expands with your growing baby, it rises above your pubic symphysis, meaning it is no longer hiding behind the bony pelvis. All women show at different times and it is important to remember that. Some women show within the first 3 months and others may show at 7 months! It can be hard to not compare yourself to others but for your own mental sake it isn’t worth it, your body is designed differently than everyone else.

As I mentioned before in my previous post, the first trimester was challenging for me. You can read about that here. Once I made it through the first 14-16 weeks, I did start to feel like my normal self again, just pregnant! So, there is definitely a light the end of the tunnel if you are currently feeling hopeless in your first trimester! I think my favorite weeks were between 18 up until now - I say this because I obviously have no idea what to expect in the weeks to come. By the way, I shared a week 19 baby update that you can read there!

in LA hiking! The last part of our trip and a day after our wedding!

Week 20 to the start of week 24 felt like a breeze! Of course I had symptoms and days that were harder than others, which I will get to, but I felt really good! I think that a lot of that was due to the fact that we spent almost 2 of those weeks in Palm Springs and in LA. We hiked a few times, walked over 10k steps a day, (any movement feels good and is necessary for me), the weather was warm and sunny each day which elevated my mood, the food was amazing/fresh and we were relaxing a great deal. The trip was pretty stress free. I was distracted by a new environment, my family, our wedding (!!!), and that mental state made it very easy on my ever changing body. Of course, those factors would make anyone feel their best and I was grateful to have experienced that right in the middle of this pregnancy. During this time, I wasn’t bloated, my energy levels were higher (or back to normal), I felt great during my workouts, my appetite hadn’t increased but I was craving healthier foods, I felt calm, and my sleep was great! I felt more confident in my body. The only majors were my digestion was a bit slow, but it is always affected by traveling (meaning I felt constipated more days than not), I experienced back pain daily, and flying was a bit of a challenge because I simply wasn’t comfortable. I have noticed that when I sit for longer periods at a time, my back pain increases, I feel sluggish, and a bit moody. I am learning that I need to keep moving, exercise often, and get as comfortable as I can. It is easy to go through days, pregnant or not, when you are feeling good and harder if you just feel off.

It seemed that once I hit 24/25 weeks many of my first trimester symptoms were making their debut again. Before I dive in, I had a check up with the doctor the week I returned from California and everything was great! I did not have an ultrasound, but we were able to listen to the heartbeat. Her heart was beating so fast! The doctor also measured my belly and took my weight- everything was right on target. Having a positive doctor’s appointment is always reassuring and gives me a piece of mind. It reassures me that I am doing everything I can to create a safe, healthy, and happy home for her. At the end of the day that is the only thing that matters. I worry less when I have days where all I can do is sleep, or others where I can’t stop eating. It is nothing to feel guilty about, these types of days come and go. It is all normal.

24 weeks here! We spent the weekend in Palm Springs before our trip to LA for the wedding. More to come soon :)

As I mentioned before, I will now see the doctor every 4 weeks. For my next appointment I will have to take the gestational diabetes test, to see if I have diabetes, which can often develop when you are pregnant. I will keep you all posted! I know that I have talked about it many times in my stories as I will not be drinking the glucose drink that is provided but rather finding a healthier alternative. I will share updates soon.

OK, so what has been up the last few weeks:

At 25 weeks she is the size of a cabbage, weighs almost 2 pounds, and is about 14 inches tall! She is growing at a faster rate and I can definitely feel her kicking so much more, especially when I am trying to sleep at night! I love it though. Even though we can’t obviously see it, the color of her hair has developed, her lungs are continuing to develop, and she is practicing her breathing.

My energy has been dipping: I knew that during the third trimester you may start to feel tired again, but I wasn’t aware that it would happen this fast for me! By 4 PM I am exhausted once again. I don’t feel as guilty about it as I did during my first trimester because I know the importance of rest for my body. I try my hardest to complete my work in the morning and early afternoon as well as getting out for a workout class. I have noticed that taking a break in the afternoon for a walk outside does help! I will say that I have been sleeping great the last few weeks, better than usual. I find myself falling asleep on the couch around 8-9 PM and waking up around 6-7 AM- unless I have to get up earlier. The major thing that helps me is being consistent with my magnesium vitamins, it helps me sleep tremendously as well as helps prevent constipation. You can read about my prenatal care routine here!

Backaches/body aches: Woof, this one is tough for me. My entire body especially my back feels constantly achy and in pain. I can only last so long in a chair while working before I have to take it to the couch for more support. As my body continues to grow and expand I know this will be an underlying issue. I am curious to see if having prenatal massages would help relieve the pain, but I haven’t tried it out yet. I personally do not find myself more flexible than usual, as I know many pregnant women can experience this, I actually think I am the opposite! My joints feel tighter, as well as my hips. Just about everything! I also find myself experiencing abdominal cramps more often and can feel my body expanding. This is nothing I need to worry about as I have mentioned this to my doctor - I am all clear! This usually happens a few times a week and almost feels similar to contractions or period cramps. Things that I try to stay on top of to relieve the pain are: salt baths (4x a week), walking (even if it is just 30 minutes or less), not sitting for prolonged periods, and staying consistent with my workouts (4x a week).

Food aversions/cravings: My fruit obsession continues; pineapples, papaya, bananas, apples, blackberries, just about anything and everything! I am happily OK with this as I HATED fruit before becoming pregnant! I try to aim for a 2-3 servings a day, knowing that the variety is helping my little one! There are some days where I eat more than usual and others it seems that my appetite is the exact same before becoming pregnant. I try not to stress about that aspect knowing that I am feeding the baby as well, she needs it! For the most part I try to eat as healthy as I can (healthy to my definition). Meaning, I know what foods will make me feel my best and then I don’t worry how much of it I am eating. I of course have days where all I eat is bread and a great deal of sugar and the next day I feel terrible: bloated, moody, irritable, very full, tired etc. Those days are going to happen and you just have to move on from it! For the last few weeks I haven’t had any intense cravings or aversions, but more having trouble figuring out what I want to eat. Which I think is worse and more annoying! I will stand in the kitchen almost to the point of tears trying to figure it out- haha! I am crazy. Nothing sounds appealing to me so I find myself reaching for simple foods. Meat aversions come and go as well as fish again. I am loving eggs, every vegetable in sight, sourdough breads, and dark chocolate! When I feel stuck as to what to eat I often make smoothies and pack them with fruits, veggies, and healthy fats. It is an easy way for me to get in enough nutrients. Eating smaller meals throughout the day works better for my body. I feel less bloated and sluggish. If I eat too much in one sitting I feel super uncomfortable and almost feel sick to my stomach. I also try and drink as much water as can in between meals! It is so important for the development of the anatomic fluid and you! I usually have hot water with lemon in the morning and make it a goal to drink between each meal, except after dinner. That only keeps me up at night!

Workouts: This one has been an interesting one for me the last few weeks. While we were in CA, we hiked and walked A LOT. I felt great, but definitely more winded than usual. I moved slower. Ironically I have been going to Barry’s almost 2-3x a week. Lifting VERY light weights or doing mostly body weight and either walking at 4.0 or a very light jog at 5.0. I feel great after these workouts and I am happy that I can continue with it. Yoga, on the other hand is a different story. I haven’t been able to go as much as I would like, which is frustrating me but it’s mainly due to my own schedule not matching with the studios. Yoga helps me mentally a great deal and without I feel off. I am still not practicing hot yoga nor attending prenatal classes. I think a few of my main issues with not feeling the best with yoga is my body is tight, more achy, and I am getting used to a growing belly making it harder to do any type of folding or other certain poses. I never feel any sharp pain in yoga it is more just uncomfortable and I feel “heavy.” My goal is to try and make a class 2x a week and do light stretching at home. Another goal of mine is to try and walk 10k steps 4x a week. This may seem easy to you but I have a harder time getting out and taking breaks from work. As the weather starts to get a bit warmer, I know that this will be the best exercise I can get both mentally and physically! I also need to be better about waking up and completing my workouts first thing in the morning. My energy is the best, my stomach doesn’t feel as full, and I am more motivated to go!

Baby brain: I do not wish for this one!! I taught my yoga class the other day and I had the hardest time trying to explain different poses and would completely space out on the names! I laughed it off with the students, but it does make it more difficult and I feel guilty about it. I also am a bit forgetful and have a hard time remembering the names for the silliest things or objects. It doesn’t happen everyday, but it is a real thing!

Bleeding gums: This is one that I have been dealing with my entire pregnancy. It is awful. I found myself the other weekend in so much pain (teeth, jaw, bleeding) that I was in tears. It was hard to eat! I of course brush 2x a day as well as floss, but it is becoming painful. Usually my gums will bleed when I brush my teeth / floss, but often times they will bleed on their own. TMI, but it is a challenge of pregnancy. The important thing that I need to do is see my dentist to make sure there is nothing serious going on!

Intense & more frequent kicks! She is MOVING in there. I feel the kicks the most when I am trying to sleep at night, very early in the morning, or when any music is playing. It is one of the coolest and strangest feelings. They do not hurt but feel like little air bubbles popping in my belly. I love being able to feel her kick, it is the best part- I think. She isn’t active during my workouts, only when I am at complete rest. go figure!

Itchy skin: I experienced this A LOT in the first trimester and now it is starting to pick back up again. I can’t tell if it is actually from being pregnant or the fact that I was away in CA for two weeks and my skin became a little drier in the sun. Either way, my belly, boobs, legs - everything itches like crazy! Salt baths help as well as always putting on lotion post bath/shower! I was never good about this before pregnancy and it does make my skin so soft, less itchy, and glows! The products that I love are from Cocokind (in particular the calming powder) and Zoe Organics (their belly oil!). They also make baby products, which I will use!

Mood: My mood changes daily and my emotions tend to be all over the place. Obviously this has to do with being pregnant and my hormones but I do experience highs and lows often. I experienced this during my first trimester as well. It really depends on the day or how the day before went. I do not experience anxiety attacks anymore as I have in the past (before baby) but more of an overwhelming feeling and often insecure about the changes I am going through. Our bodies are going through so much, creating a human. It can be easy to pick yourself apart during this time, especially with how you look. I never want to sound like I am complaining because I do know how lucky I am, so I do tend to keep things to myself or try and do things that will boost my mood- which is important to take some time to yourself so you can be mentally healthy. I really have been focusing on myself a lot more and making sure I am taking care of me! I find that my time is precious now and before I know it all of it will be devoted to taking care of her. I want to make sure I am mentally ready and feeling good so I can be my best self with her.

So far those are the major things that I am experiencing. I am still in shock that I have 15 weeks left. We haven’t begun setting up the baby room but we are making space for her! As you all know, we just moved into our new apartment about a month ago! The other day I finally started the baby registry! At first I found it completely overwhelming and I had (still don’t) know idea what I needed. What is safe, studying all the ingredients in products, what is worth it, can I handle this, how much stuff does a baby need, will it all fit, the cost: all these things and more were popping in and out of my mind. I will say that once I started going on the registry it was fun!! I will share some of my favorite things once I have it completed. I am of course a total newbie when it comes to what I will need for the baby, so I will probably start asking for advice from friends and doing my own research this week! For the start of June it is a goal of mine to start setting up the room and figuring out what we will need. I know that part will be fun! I will share :)

I am happy that the weather will start to get a bit warmer. To be honest, I feel pretty lucky that I will be pregnant during the summer months and that the baby will be here towards the end! It will make it “easier” to get fresh air for both me and the baby! Plus, I am a summer girl at heart!

We may have decided on a name, but of course I won’t be sharing until she is born! We haven’t even told our parents or any friends. I prefer to keep it a secret until then. Picking a name has been so hard for us!!

I am happy to share all these updates with you and feel grateful that you are all so interested! My next update will most likely be in a few weeks, once I hit the third trimester!

Thank YOU for reading.

PreNatal Care Routine

May 08, 2019 by Blair Fynn

Today, I wanted to share with you my prenatal care routine! I want to primarily talk about what I am focusing on to keep both my body and baby healthy during my pregnancy; talking all things supplements and vitamins as well as my self-care routine. Before we dive in, I want to make it clear that you should always consult with your doctor before trying anything new, especially when you are pregnant. Everything I am sharing with you today, has been approved as safe, by my OBGYN for me to take while I am pregnant!

As I write this blog post, I am currently halfway through my pregnancy. I feel extremely relieved to be in the second trimester as the first was challenging for me. My typical routine pre-pregnancy no longer existed, I was constantly exhausted, I had little control over my body, exercising was sporadic, and it was extremely difficult to eat foods that I once loved and my body needed- protein, fruits, vegetables, & enough fiber- my body was rejecting them! Which, is why it is extremely important to make sure you are taking your vitamins/supplements, especially your prenatal vitamin. If you are not getting enough nutrients yourself because of food aversions or things such as morning sickness, taking your prenatal vitamin will ensure that the baby is getting the nutrients that they need in order to continue to develop throughout the pregnancy. However, it is important to maintain a healthy diet throughout your pregnancy because prenatal vitamins are meant to supplement an already-healthy diet. Some days were harder than others to find that balance with fresh vegetables, complex carbohydrates, variety of fruits, and lean proteins, but knowing that I was taking my prenatal vitamin to help cover these nutritional gaps, every single morning made me feel better.

The supplements that I am currently taking during my pregnancy are from Pure Encapsulations. I trust this brand tremendously and used many of their other products, pre-pregnancy and continued to do so during! I love that theymanufacture a line of hypoallergenic, research-based dietary supplements. While taking a few of their products, I have experienced such personal positive results in my overall health. You may remember that I dedicated a blog postin how their l-glutamine powder transformed my gut health for the better, as well as partnering with them to learn more about my geneticsand which vitamins my body was most deficit in and how a few of their supplements would benefit my body the most.

SO, which ones have I added into my routine now that I am pregnant:

Week 19 Baby Update!

April 03, 2019 by Blair Fynn

I can’t believe that I am almost half way there. In just a little over a week I will hit 20 weeks! It makes me a little sad - time is just flying. The last few weeks I have been experiencing so many new changes, some positive and others that I have been struggling with. However, around this week and the weeks leading up, have been the most “enjoyable” and I am slowly starting to feel my happiest - despite everything going on! This isn’t to say that I wasn’t happy or grateful for the first few months - but to be honest - it was HARD. I was experiencing so many changes so fast (which you can read about here) making it a bit challenging to go about my day. It was just all so new and different and it was something that I starting to come to terms with as I began to feel like my new “normal” self.

Once 15-16 weeks hit, I felt that I was finally starting to grow a little bump. Before, I felt that I looked constantly bloated and felt inflamed all over. I am waiting for the day that everyone says you wake up one day and POP - your belly seemed to have grown overnight! I had my 18 week check up the other day and it was a bit of a scary one- which I will get to in a bit. Moving forward, I will see my doctor every 4 weeks for a check up. We haven’t done too much planning as of right now for the baby, but are starting to look into a doctor for her when she is born. As you all know, we have been in the process of moving the last month and are finally settled into our new apartment. Things are everywhere so we will wait until over the summer to set up her room! We are also in the midst of planning our wedding and are leaving for Palm Springs at the end of April and then will travel to LA to get married the first weekend of May! Even though things have been so chaotic and a bit overwhelming - they are all things that I am looking forward to so much.

Right now, the baby is the size of a croissant (18 weeks!) and she probably weighs around 6-7 ounces. So tiny! At 18 weeks we also had an ultrasound, a check in with the doctor, as well as an anatomy scan of the baby to make sure that every little part of the baby is developing as she should. This was a bit of a rough visit for me. My original apt. date was Monday, but we went into the doctors office for an emergency visit on the Friday before the weekend because the Tuesday before and that Friday morning, I was experiencing some bleeding. I think that was truly the most scared I have ever felt - I couldn’t stop crying, shaking, and immediately thought of the worst. Also, I was googling just about everything, which did not help at all. I don’t suggest that! I let the doctor know and they had me come in right away - I drove so fast to get there!

When I arrived, I had an ultrasound, the anatomy scan, a cervix examination, and a scan of my ovaries, pelvic etc. We heard the baby’s heartbeat and I felt so relieved. We saw her on the ultrasound and her heartbeat was completely normal. The anatomy scan took about 45 minutes and thankfully everything was in the right place and developing just as it should- her brain, kidneys, fingers/toes, bones - I can’t even describe how happy I was at that moment. The doctor checked my ovaries and to see if my pelvic was a bit lower and maybe that was causing the bleeding. BUT- I was 100% fine. I was sent home, with an updated picture of our baby - she has the cutest little nose and lips - and felt that I could go into the weekend feeling pretty content with the visit. I still had to return on Monday for a follow up. I took it easy over the weekend, no working out (which I haven’t worked out in the last 2 weeks).

I went back to the doctors on Monday with my mom - just to follow up with the bleeding and it still is a bit of a mystery. It was a bit of a wake up call for me. I tend to push myself in just about everything and have a hard time resting. After experiencing this, I realize just how fragile life can be and am understanding that there is NO need to always go go go. The doctor said that I could workout again, even though she typically has patients wait 2 weeks after bleeding. I am going to ease back into everything, walks, yoga, etc. To be honest, not working out the last 2 weeks I actually feel better, more rested, less bloated but mentally I need to move/exercise. Glad that day and week are something in the past and truly hope that I do not have to experience that again.

Ok so what else is new:

Migraines: The last few weeks, my migraines have come back stronger than ever. I have started to take my magnesium vitamins again (approved by my doctor) which not only help with migraines, but also your digestion! I am also allowed to take tylenol as well as certain prescription medications - but I am holding off to resorting to those two options for now. Mine are usually triggered by lack of sleep, stress, and of course hormones. I try and drink more water than I think I should be having, having caffeine in the morning, getting fresh air outside, and focus on catching up on sleep when I can. Migraines are super debilitating and can be challenging to pin point your triggers - if you let it go too long without any prevention there is no turning back. I try and look for signs before it becomes at its worst point and then take the necessary precautions. My signs are usually brain fog, irritable, vision changes, extreme pain as to what feels like its happening behind my eyes, and I often see spots.

Insomnia: I can’t sleep. at all! I typically start to become tired around 930 PM and usually go to bed around that time. I often wake up either at midnight or 3 AM and then will stay up for good- until I go to bed the next day. This has been frustrating and challenging for me. To try and sleep throughout the night, I have been testing out a few things: taking a warm salt bath before bed or dinner, reading before bed, not drinking any water (or much of it!) past dinner time, having a diffuser in our room, and making sure I ate enough protein before bed (or at dinner.) I typically wake up to go to the bathroom or because I am hungry. This is something that I think I will have to get used to and just make sure I can find the time to rest during the day if needed!

Constipation: Ugh, this one deserves it’s own blog post. This is pretty common for pregnant women so I am not entirely concerned about it, but it makes for really uncomfortable days/weeks. Before baby, this was something that I constantly struggled with my whole life. I would go weeks without going to the bathroom and that was not healthy or good at all. I do take medication every single day and it does help tremendously, but now being pregnant it has been a bit harder. My digestion has slowed down a great deal and I have to remember to eat smaller meals throughout the day and drink plenty of fluids as well as moving each day. Things that help me as of right now - oatmeal. I don’t want to jinx this, but I have oatmeal every single morning - if I can - and it helps so much! Other things, are making sure I am not eating too much fiber, adding more fruit into my diet, and having a bit of caffeine in the morning after I have eaten breakfast. Not being able to go can make pregnancy challenging and making you feel extra bloated and full. I am going to continue to experiment with more things and if anyone wants I can add them in later!

Vivid dreams: I love this one- sometimes. I have the most vivid dreams every single night and can remember every single thing the next day! Often times, these dreams are what wakes me up too! They are weird dreams and they obviously do not make any sense, but this is the only time in my life that I have ever remembered any of them!

That is all I can think of for now! I do tend to forgot a lot of things now….but everyone says that is “baby brain”

There is no new foods that I am craving. I do crave carbonated drinks! I am eating more fruit than usual (oranges, apples, bananas, blackberries are my favorite right now!). I am happy that I am starting to eat fish again and vegetables! I am a bit turned off by meat again, but as long as I am continuing to eat eggs/fish I feel good! I don’t think that my appetite has increased dramatically, there are some days that I eat an extra snack or two and others I get so distracted that I might just have three meals. Foods I miss? I miss sushi! Todd and I used to do sushi take out a lot, but now I usually order the veggie rolls- which are great, but not the same!

For my belly and body; I love the Zoe Organics belly butter and belly oil. I also use Cocokind religiously on my face! I love all of their products! Both brands make great baby products as well that I will be sure to use when she is born. In terms of clothing, I haven’t bought too many maternity clothes. (I love the brand Hatch and did order a few pieces for when I am traveling to CA at the end of the month since the weather will be a bit warmer). As of right now, I am just ordering a few sizes up. I am LIVING in the Lululemon black leggings and I think I own about 5 pairs of the same ones- they are skin feeling one- so comfortable and soft. They are so great to workout in for me at least since I can feel like I can breathe in them and nothing is tight on my stomach. Workout bras and bras in general are just a little hard. I am waiting to buy anything expensive until after the baby or if I need it for something special. For my jeans, I am still wearing the same brands, but juts 1-2 sizes up. I am loving the Madewell jeans and I find them to be somewhat inexpensive since my body is constantly changing. I know that J. Brands and Sevens make maternity jeans- Madewell does too!

My gums are also still bleeding like crazy! The dizziness and sick feeling has totally passed and probably started to around 15-16 weeks! I do have “more” energy but like I said before, I am sleeping less. I usually crash each day around 3PM!

Working out is starting to become a bit more challenging. I have lost strength and have gone down to much lower weights and I am jogging still at a very slow pace as of now. I get tired pretty fast and winded, so taking breaks and modifying everything is key. Yoga is great and has come to be my favorite, of course! I am still teaching and feel fine- just a little forgetful at time!!

We have a few names picked out, but haven’t told anyone yet! We won’t until the baby is born. Which is August 31st!

I feel better and really am starting to love being pregnant- of course some days/weeks are harder than others, but it is really special. It is a special bond to share between myself, Todd and the baby.

In about 4 weeks we are leaving for our trip and wedding - which will be so relaxing and a fun 10 days or so because as soon as we come back we will only have about 3 months left. It will be nice to take a trip before things get a bit more stressful and have little time to travel etc!

I can’t wait to share more as we go! Thank you as always for reading xx

Working Out While Pregnant

March 13, 2019 by Blair Fynn

Working out and being pregnant was a whole new world for me.

I can’t tell you how many times I googled which work outs were safe to do and which ones were a big NO-NO. I became so paranoid that I even started to google which yoga poses were safe to do even though I teach yoga and have taken many pre-natal yoga training classes. I knew the answer, but I started to second guess and doubt myself. Since everyone is completely different during their each individual pregnancies it can be so hard to understand exactly what will be the best for you as well as trying to not compare yourself to other pregnant women no matter what stage they are in, in their pregnancy.

First Trimester: My Experience & How I Found Out

March 04, 2019 by Blair Fynn

My first trimester is officially over! ahh! I was exactly 14 weeks last Saturday on March 2nd - the day I shared the most exciting news with you all. It was so hard to keep this a secret from you guys including hiding my emotions and my quickly changing body in public since everything was happening so fast. Everything was so new to me! So many emotions.